Secret to getting a man: Look like trash

So I went to the mall the other night really quickly to grab a folder for my new kid in class. It was a Saturday and I had done absolutely nothing, but around 5 I finally pulled myself off of the couch and took a shower. I then put on sweatpants, a tee shirt, and a sweat jacket, pulled my wet hair up in a pony tail (never mind that supposedly if you leave the house with wet hair in Egypt it means you've just, ehm, done "it"), gathered my things, and ran out of the house makeupless just as the sun was setting. I hopped in a cab and dug around for small bills (they refuse to give you change). The only thing I had was a 5, a 1 pound coin, and other coins adding up to 45 piasters (cents in Egypt). It SHOULD cost about 5 pounds to get to the mall, but for foreigners that price might make them mad (I usually do 7). So I told him to go to the entrance where I knew I could jump out, pay him, and scurry in before he could get out and yell at me. Much to my relief/surprise he said nothing about the amount and I walked inside feeling all proud that I'd stuck it to 'em, even just a little bit. As SOON as my proud self walks through the door, looks at the map, and confusedly heads toward the cell phone store, I notice it. Or more like them. Yep, they're turning. No, please don't turn! Keep walking. I don't want skeezy Egyptians hitting on me! But they couldn't refrain.
"You're cute." one said.
"No." I replied. I knew what I looked like in that moment. Plus, no. I don't want to talk to you.
"No, you aren't cute?" he asked.
"No!" And I high tailed it praying that the direction I was going would actually be the direction of the store.
"Oooh, you're Italian?" I hear as I walk off.
Seriously? Do they target the unattractive (seriously, I know what I was looking like!) as possible suckers to be the trophy Western wife for the Egyptian man? I just shook my head and moved on. This is not a new thing here. But really, I'd like to go SOMEWHERE and not get blatantly stared at.
This is my rant of the day. Thank you and good night. :)

Delivery

One thing I love about Egypt is that you can have anything delivered. McDonalds, Chilis, dry cleaning, groceries, etc. So tonight I went to the market about 5 blocks away from our house (and across tram tracks and a relatively busy street). I got my groceries and then ordered 4 cases of water to be delivered to the house. I paid for my groceries and turned to leave, expecting the water to be delivered a few hours later as normal. Apparently that was not what was going to happen this evening. "You have a car outside?" the man sitting at the door asked. "No, I walk." I replied. So he said something in Arabic to the bagger guy, and told me to wait. The next thing I know they loaded 4 cases of water and my bags into a cart and told the guy to follow me home. So I walked home being followed by a strange Egyptian man pushing a massively overloaded grocery cart across busy streets, down curbs (assisted by other random Egyptian men), over potholes, and finally up the 4 flights of stairs to my apartment. Delivery service at it's finest... or at least weirdest...

How to peel a potato

THIS IS AWESOME! No more potato peelers!! Just watch!

Be a reader

Nothing like an email like this in the morning to make me want to teach my kids really well!! From a foreign language teacher at my school:

dear / readers
happy new year. i can take that chance to say you : did you ask your self that aquisetin?
how many poems and stories did you read in your life ?
i like to tel you that reading is very good thing and spiecily reading in literatures poetries and novels . it make any one v have more calitures and make all peole recognized.
please be reades and read more and more to be good man / woman.
thank you

MLK, Egypt style

The King himself, made by 5 year old Egyptian children. Happy day off (not for me)! I've been told the one on the far left more resembles Arsenio Hall. They tried ;)

They learn early...

Egyptians are master hagglers. To live here, you must to at least some degree, learn to master this craft as well.
(Flash back to class yesterday)
Me (to student): You need to finish your sandwich.
Him: How about 5 bites.
Me: Finish your sandwich.
Him: 3 bites and 2 strawberries?
Me: No, finish your sandwich.
Him: How about 5 bites and 2 strawberries?
Me: 5 bites and 3 strawberries! (realizing I just entered the haggling game with a kindergartener; audible sigh, shaking head) Just eat your lunch.

He's only 5. By 20, he's gonna be reeeally good. Our neighbor took a bunch of kids to China where they haggled for souvenirs. He said the Chinese, hagglers themselves, didn't know what hit them when the Egyptians came in.

Let's give em' something to blog about....

Conversation with my best friend while at home:

Me: I have to tell you something. I got a perm.
Her: WHAT?!
Me: Yes. But it actually looks good, and now I don't have to fix my hair anymore. Egypt was ruining my hair anyway.
Her: So, I have a confession. I bought boots that my jeans tuck into.
Me: (Gasp!) You didn't. You just broke a cardinal rule! What were you thinking?!
Her: YOU GOT A PERM!

So, Christmas was great! I flew back to Houston on the 18th and got in super late. I made it my rule to attempt to have some form of pork everyday I was in the States. I pretty much succeeded, as well as bringing back some pre-cooked bacon for those days when I just NEED it. ;) It was great to be in the States, see everyone, hear how brilliant my niece is for myself, drive, go to my church, shop, and eat. But alas, I have been back for 4 days and it's crackdown time. No more bad for me food (except for Thoughtless Thursday. It's like Free Friday was in the States. Keeps me sane). In addition the running track is calling my name. Yesterday it called my name just so it could squish me like a little bug on a windshield. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Anyway, there's my pathetic update. I'm going to try to blog more often, I just feel as if I have no material! Sorry peeps!